Evolving You: Nurturing Personal Brilliance

“How’s it going with your goals?”

“It often feels like there just aren’t enough hours in the day!”

“Did you start going to the gym? explored spirituality?”

“I haven’t been able to find the time.”

A lot of us say we’re short on time and blame not having enough of it for why we can’t achieve our goals. Even though we have gadgets that track everything we do, artificial intelligence that can answer any question and apps that plan our lives down to the tiniest second, we still say we don’t have time to do everything.

This makes you wonder — is it really just not having enough time that’s stopping you? Or could there be other things getting in the way of you growing as a person?

We’re Afraid of Being Inactive

Have you ever felt like you just can’t sit still? Well, there’s a reason for that! A bunch of researchers did a study called ‘How Having Too Much or Too Little to Do Affects How Happy We Feel.’ And guess what? Sometimes we actually want to have too much to do.

It might sound crazy, but being busy can make us feel important and satisfied with our lives. In fact, we might prefer having a lot to do rather than having nothing at all on our plate.

Let’s break it down!

Think about all those times you’ve heard people say things like, “My family can’t function without me” or “My team falls apart if I’m not there.” It’s something we all can relate to. But here’s the interesting part: after a while, those same people might start complaining that they’re not as needed anymore. Funny how things change, right?

It’s completely natural!

As human beings, we love being part of something bigger, and feeling like we belong.

It’s just in our nature. And waking up every day with a clear purpose tied to that feeling of belonging is something that comes to us naturally.

Knowing that somebody out there relies on us doesn’t just give us a reason to get up in the morning — it makes us feel like a hero. It’s like we’re saving the day because we’re not just thinking about ourselves; we’re doing something important for someone else. They really need us!

“They can’t start the meeting until I show up.”

“My spouse can’t handle things without me.”

A lot of us can connect with these kinds of feelings, and that’s totally okay. But here’s the catch: if we spend all our time taking care of others, we might forget to take care of ourselves — to rest, heal, and grow.

And that’s where a potential issue sneaks in!

Embrace the Idea of Having Time Just for You

Here’s a thought:

When it comes to growing as a person, it’s pretty important to be okay with having time all to yourself. What I mean is, that there are moments when no one, anywhere, needs anything from you — and that’s totally okay. Even if someone does need something, it’s alright to consider that they can wait a bit.

You might have heard this called “discretionary time.” It’s that time left over after you’ve taken care of all the important stuff like cooking and work. Some folks call it “me time.”

I’m really putting emphasis on feeling good about having discretionary time because we often mix it up with being unwanted or feeling alone. We might even go out of our way to avoid being by ourselves. And sometimes, we think that taking time for ourselves is being selfish.

But guess what?

No matter who you are or what you do, spending time on yourself isn’t selfish at all. In fact, when you create something for yourself, it often ends up benefiting someone, somewhere.

Let me give you an example. As I’m writing this, I’m choosing to spend my discretionary time not watching a Netflix series, but writing a blog instead. I believe that somewhere out there, someone will get something useful from it.

So, remember, taking time for yourself is a great thing. It’s like giving yourself the chance to create something awesome that could help others too. And that’s definitely not selfish!

Make the Most of ‘Just for You’ Time

Once you’ve realized that it’s totally cool to have time all to yourself, treat it like a special gift — because, honestly, you’ve earned it. You know how sometimes, when I’m helping folks get better at things, I notice that after they’ve dealt with all the stuff everyone else wants, they sometimes think it’s okay to just waste the rest of their time on social media or idle chatting.

Well, here’s a little comparison for you:

It’s kind of like if you cleaned up everyone else’s house, and then you thought it was right for your own house to be messy. Or imagine feeding a whole village and then thinking it’s totally fine for you to go hungry.

Here’s the deal:

No matter what you do with this time, remember that even though you might not have much control over things like office meetings, household challenges, etc. you’ve got full control over your discretionary time. Yep, that’s the time you can use however you want, even if it’s just lounging around — and no one’s going to say a thing.

But let me ask you this:

Is that what you really want to do with it? As a different option, what if you just spent 15 minutes of that time working on yourself? You could start small. It’s like the way you save up money — a little bit here and there adds up. Let’s say you want to get fit; you could start by running or even just walking for 15 minutes. And then, you build on that foundation.

I get it — sometimes we’re so tired that we don’t want to do anything, and that’s totally okay. But even then, try to make it real downtime. When I have my own ‘just for me’ time, I like to read and write. And when I’m super worn out, I just take a nap. No alarms, no beeps from my phone, no checking stuff online. Just pure, blissful sleep :)

What’s the Takeaway?

So, a lot of us really want to achieve more in our lives. But you know what? Sometimes we get this idea stuck in our heads that how much we’re wanted by others is what really shows how important we are. That’s why we end up filling our schedules with all sorts of stuff — even if some of it doesn’t really matter.

But here’s the kicker:

To really move forward, we need to get cozy with something called ‘discretionary time.’ It’s like those pockets of time you’ve got left after you’ve done all the important stuff. And you know what? Once you start making room for it, it’s like unlocking a door to your personal growth.

And guess what comes next? When you start using that discretionary time for yourself, it might feel a bit strange at first. But before you know it, you’ll actually start looking for ways to have more time to yourself. Why? Because there’s this feeling inside you that’s going to say, “Hey, you totally deserve this!” It’s like giving yourself a present that your future self will thank you for.

So, remember, it’s not just about being busy all the time. It’s about finding those moments just for you and using them to make yourself even better.

Trust me, it’s worth it!